Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Not about love

W. - Stop talking about love. It’s boring. I don’t love you the way you want to be loved and never will.
M. - I know.
W. - Can’t you enjoy my friendship and be happy?
M. - I guess I can. Who said I don’t?
W.- But you always want more. You never get enough.
M. - True. But so am I. There is nothing I can do to change myself and become someone else.
W. - Bla bla ba. Do you know the difference between good and bad poetry? You sometimes write very good poems. When you avoid getting sentimental and indulge in cheap romanticism.
M. - Thank you. You are flattering me. Well, you are also saying that some of my poems are bad.
W. - I didn’t say that. What I mean is that you could in your relationship with me avoid those cheap expectations that do not fit a man as intelligent and lucid as yourself. Am I clear now?
M.- Sure. Everything you say is easy to understand. I do not complain.
W.- In fact, what could I give you that I am not giving you already?
M.- Indeed. You are so generous. What else could you give me, beyond your warm and always forgiving friendship.?
W.- You know that I cannot be only yours. You also know that in some deep sense - and not just in the language of cheap novels and bad poems - I love you.
M. - I know all that, yes. You declare it frequently enough. I do not complain.
W. - It’s not true. You are always complaining. You want more.
M. - Is it such a bad thing that we want more than what we got or already have? I don’t think so.
W.- Bla bla bla again. I know that you are good at manipulating language. Just do not abuse of your talent. You tend to digress.
M.- Will you sleep at my home tonight?
W.- I can’t. You know that.
M.- You can if you want. You just do not want to be with me tonight.
W. - How can you be so boring? I will stay with you tomorrow. Didn’t I already promised you that I will? Isn’t that good enough?
M.- You know that I am always deeply and sincerely grateful when you decide to give me something. I will wait for tomorrow.
W.- Are you trying to be ironic?
M.- No. You cannot give me everything. But neither does God give people everything they ask for and dream of.
W.- What an intelligent remark. I will not forget it.
M. - You are like a God in the end. And knowing it, you see, I accept everything you give me with an humble joy and pride. I may protest and ask for more, but isn’t it the logic of our relationship? If I didn’t ask for more you would feel depreciated.
W.-Oh, what a subtle statement about my divine power and about your humble human condition. Should I go now? Can I? You are not going to complain?
M.- I haven’t seen you for almost one week.
W. - Here we go again. You know how difficult it is for me sometimes to get away from my other life.
M.- Yes, I know. Nobody is as much aware of it as I do.
W.- If I loved you as you want me to love you, our relationship would not last long. Don’t you think? Try at least to understand why I prefer to keep you as a good friend first of all.
M. - Yes, I understand what you mean. You are saying that contrary to love, that does not last forever, friendship resists being worn out.
W.- You make me laugh. You are stubborn and unbearable, but there is always a way of getting along with you. You have a good nature. At least when you believe that you are in love. Can I go now?
M.- Is the simpleminded motherfucker waiting for you?
W.- I didn’t hear what you said. Bye. Give me a kiss. See you tomorrow. And don’t call me or send me messages to my phone, please. I hate it and will not answer. Don't make my life more difficult than it already is. Give me time, I need time, don't be impatient.

No comments: