Monday, March 07, 2011

World of appearances

I said: you are so beautiful; it hurts. She blushed and she said nothing. I had seen her at the Campus but I don’t think she saw me. I said: want to have dinner with me in a very good restaurant? She said: how can I help you? I said: a single espresso. She said: two dollars twelve. I gave her the money and dropped a quarter in the tips glass. Then I looked on her eyes and I said it again: let’s have dinner together, you are so beautiful, it hurts, you may know many things that I ignore and need to know. She blushed again, the poor baby. She said: I was born in Prague, I was two years old when we came to the United States. And she went to the coffee machine to make my espresso. I smiled. I thought: I’m too old for her, it’s true, but the last time I heard someone make that stupid comment it was a girl who had a husband much younger than me and he left her, so, nobody really knows for how long love may last. I was not at all thinking about love though. I am just curious about other people's life. Is there any mystery worth attention and some passion beyond that one? She brought me the espresso and I said: thank you, you are so beautiful, like an Egyptian Nephertitis, it really hurts. She didn’t say anything; she just stayed there looking at me. She was so shy, just a baby. A good girl, really. I said: sometimes I can’t sleep at night; but I cannot expect anybody to love me anymore; you could teach me all the mysterious things you are the only one to know so much about. She didn’t say anything. But she didn't leave either. She remained there, her hands on the counter, staring at me from an indiscernible distance with her stunning eyes. As if neither she nor me belonged to this world of appearances. Later I went home and I felt so lonely. But, Gosh, I finally was able to talk to her and have her talk to me for about ten minutes. Things didn't happen exactly as I say but they could and we are allowed to invent a bit in order to make other people believe that life makes a lot of sense, aren't we? 

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